One day it will be funny

Sometimes in life, there are moments that are not funny in the moment, but you know that at some point in the future, it will be funny.
I had one of these moments a few months ago. It was a quiet Sunday evening and Christopher and I were at my house watching a movie. When it was time for him to go home, I got up to blow out the candles that I had lit, and he says to me, "Sweetie, come here before you do that." Unsure of what he wanted, I walked over to him and he places my hands in his, gets down on one knee and says, "Kristi Beth, will you go to Sweethearts with me?" Yep, that's right. I'm fake proposal girl! In that moment, I actually thought that he was popping the question for real, and I think I almost cried. Needless to say, I did not think this was funny, though Christopher did. Looking back on it now, it is actually funny, but it took me a long time to get to that point. Thankfully he made up for it a month later by popping the question for real.
I guess this is one of those moments that I should remind myself of in the future when life presents me with obstacles that I should be able to laugh at later on. Maybe it would be better if I loosened up a little bit and laughed at the things that make me feel so far from anything resembling laughter.

One month

I have been engaged for a month. A month. In some ways, it feels like it just happened yesterday. And in others, it feels like we have been engaged forever! The latter is actually kind of true. Christopher and I have been talking about getting married since July (I know, super soon after we started dating), and have been really serious about it since the end of October. So, in my mind we have been engaged this whole time. I think that's why things have been going pretty smoothly in the planning department (with a few glitches here and there -- but that is to be expected). 

Now that I have my dress picked out, my bridesmaids dresses ordered, honeymoon is booked, our engagement photo shoot done (at least part one of possibly two), I feel like there isn't much we have to do right now. Obviously we need to get our invitations out, but we still have a couple of weeks to do that.

Some of you may be coming here to see details of my wedding planning. But, I can't divulge that information yet. For some reason, I feel really private about my wedding details. Maybe it's because I want my wedding to be unique to me and Christopher, or maybe because I don't want people to come to the reception and think "Oh, I saw all of this on the blog or Pinterest". 

I promise that as I get things together for the wedding, I'll post little hints of details.

But, I can tell you one thing. I will be a very happy bride.

Every moment that I get to be with Christopher, I think about spending eternity with him and I just feel so peaceful and calm. But excited too. 

I can't wait to be Mrs. Craig!

Marriage thoughts

For the past six months or so, I've been thinking about marriage very seriously. Christopher and I discussed marriage very early in our dating, and I wanted to be very clear with myself about what I wanted out of a marriage and what I would need to do to accomplish that.
I read many scriptures, listened to talks, observed relationships of those newly married and those married for twenty plus years. I also did a lot of thinking and pondering. I read my patriarchal blessing. I prayed.
Through this study, I was able to learn a few things.
First, I wanted to marry for love. I know that love is not the only reason to get married (my mom has reminded me of this very often), but I think that it has to be the starting place. I wanted a love that would be able to sustain me and my husband, and our future family. I do believe that "all you need is love". But, this love has to be a selfless love, and enduring love.
Second, I wanted my marriage to be a partnership. The scriptures talk a lot about this, and I receive so much comfort as I read scriptures that talk about husband and wife being "one flesh", a "help-meet" and equal in their relationship.
Third, I want an enjoyable marriage. I want to smile, and laugh every day. I want others to see that I love my husband and he loves me. I have been spoiled with great examples of marriage. My parents have been married for nearly thirty years (in September) and they still have fun together. I know that they love each other. They are best friends, and I love that. My Granny and Papa are also a really good example to me. They have been married for 58 years and are probably the cutest couple (I will relinquish the title for them). They are a team.
Fourth, I want a marriage that lasts. I know that marriage isn't always easy. But I'm pretty sure it's worth it. I want my marriage to last forever. I can't imagine it any other way.
I recently read an article in a magazine where the interviewee, Alison Brie (of "Community") was talking about her thoughts on marriage. She said that she never pictured herself getting married and then said that "our parents", meaning our generations parents got married because they "were supposed to". My immediate thought was, my parents got married because they loved each other.
I have never seen marriage as simply an answer to society's pressure. Marriage is not simply a fun thing to do. Marriage is a serious deal. And I am so excited to make that deal for good. I can't wait to have the happiness of being married to my best friend.

Questions & Answers

Lita tagged me, so I am doing this. Enjoy learning a little bit about me.

The Rules

1. Post these rules

2. Post 11 random things about yourself

3. Answer the questions provided by the person who tagged you

4. Create 11 questions for the people you tag

5. Tag 11 people

11 Random Things

1. I am a planner. I like to know what is going to happen, when it is going to happen, and what I can do. For example, since I was little, I have had names picked out for my future children. These names have changed over the years, but I have always had a list. I have also had a general list for what my life will be. And don't get me started on my wedding planning! My family and friends have had to suffer through my endless questions of "will this go with this?" "will this song work?" "is that too formal?" "is that too casual?" "how about this dress?" "these shoes?" "how much will that make?" "how much will that cost?"... it goes on and on. 
2. I have recently learned that I am a control freak. When I revealed this to my mother recently, she said "you didn't know?" 
3. Just like people crave food, I often crave music. Sometimes, I just really need to hear The Smiths, or Florence + the Machine, or The Beatles. And I can't stop thinking about it until that glorious music seeps into my ears and I am satisfied. 
4. I know the exact day that I knew without a doubt that I would marry Christopher. I can still remember that moment, and every time I do, my eyes start to water and my heart begins to beat a little quicker. 
5. Even though I am a planner, I am also a procrastinator. I procrastinate daily. It's a real problem. I'll fix that eventually...
6. Since living away from home, I have become a bit of a clean freak -- not insane, but I do like to have things cleaner than I did when I lived at home. That's not to say that everything is always clean in my house. For instance, right now my laundry is only half done, there are dishes in the sink, and I have a messy room. However, I am much happier when things are clean. 
7. I love my nephew, Joey so much. For about ten years, I have bugged my sister about having kids. I know that ten years ago Marni was not old enough to have kids, but I wanted her to know that I expected her to provide me with nieces and nephews before I had my own children. I consider Joey a test for my future kids. That little boy lights up my life like no other. 
8. I like washing dishes. Yeah, I'm a bit of a freak. 
9. As much as I love Calgary, and it is my home, I really want to live somewhere else. I'm hoping that within the next five years or so, Christopher and I can live somewhere else, even if it's just for a few months. 
10. I love yoga. Taking yoga classes this last semester has seriously changed my life, much like rediscovering running changed my life a few years ago.
11. I don't like uneven numbers. It actually bothers me a tad that there are eleven questions and not ten or fifteen -- but not enough to make me hyperventilate or anything. I promise I'm not crazy. 

11 Answers

1. Who is your inspiration and why?

My inspiration comes from many sources. One is the lovely Audrey Hepburn. I love her style, her movies and just everything about her. But, more importantly, my inspiration is my mother. My mother is so selfless, but not in a way that makes me feel bad -- not sure if that makes sense. My mom does what she does for our family because she loves us, and I know that. Planning my wedding has allowed me to see that even more. Both she and my dad love me so much and want the best for me, and would do anything in there power to see that I get the best. I want to be that kind of person.

2. If you could live anywhere, where would that place be?

I've always had a bit of an obsession with California. I always thought it would be wonderful to live there. Or New York. Or London. Or Paris.

3. If you had to pick a new name (and you have to) what would it be?

I used to think about this all the time when I was younger. When I was about nine or ten, I didn't like my name very much and wanted to change it. I originally wanted to go by Beth, which is my middle name. Then I considered June, because I was born in June (I know now that I am so not a June!). I love my name now though and would never want to change it. But, if I had to (which apparently I do now), I would chose Summer. I've always loved the name Summer. Or Kate. But really, I'm a Kristi. 

4. So you have anamorph powers (you can transform into any animal) what would it be?

Weird question. Maybe a bird. Then I could fly. That would be pretty okay. 

5. Favorite dish?
Chicken with tomatoes, zucchini and olives. Get the recipe here.

6. If you could play a part in any movie ever made, what character would you be?
Jo (Audrey Hepburn) in Funny Face. Being a model in Paris, while Fred Astaire dances for me? I think so!

7. What do you struggle with?

Motivation. Going for what I want and forgetting about rejection and failure. 

8. Dream vacation?
Anywhere with my love. But, if I am even more honest, I would say a trip to Europe with stops in Italy, France, England, Scotland, and Greece. 

9. Tell me one of your most vivid childhood memories?

I actually have a lot of these. One that just popped into my head was my first nose bleed. I was about six or seven and I went over to my neighbours house. We were playing in their backyard with their dog, Shadow. Shadow jumped up and hit me in the nose. It hurt, but I didn't think any damage had been done. We went back home shortly because I was supposed to go to a baby shower with my mom, and I remember walking down the hall, and feeling like I had a runny nose, but when I went to the bathroom, and looked in the mirror, I saw that my nose was bleeding. That was only one of two nose bleeds in my life. I have been pretty sheltered, I know.

10. If you were forced to live in another time period, what would it be?
The 1940s or 1950s. Best fashion this world has seen yet. 

11. Which Disney princess are you and why?
I would say Belle, only because when I was little I totally identified with her having brown hair and a deep love for literature. I even used to play Belle when I would play make believe games when I was little. I would go outside and pick up the weeds with the dandelion seeds (I can't think of what they're called) and I would react that scene where she does that and sings, before (or after.. I forget) Gaston comes to propose to her. You know what scene I'm talking about. 

I don't have any questions for you. And I think everyone that I would tag was already tagged.

So, hopefully you learned something about me. If nothing else, this was a good journalling exercise.

Thanks, Lita!

Loved

If you want to know who loves you, plan a wedding.

I've been engaged for two weeks now, and I have been so overwhelmed with love. So many people have graciously offered their help, let me cry out my frustrations, or even offer me the use of their wedding dresses. I am so touched, and so grateful for all the wonderful people in my life who have made my life what it is today, and who continue to show me their love, especially at this exciting time in my life. 

Being engaged is still pretty fun, but I am looking forward to getting through the planning part. I have a lot of stuff figured out now, so I just have to work on putting those plans in place. 

I'm excited to get our engagement pictures done this weekend, and start work on the invitations. Oh, and finally get something figured out for a dress. That will be figured out one way or another this week. I have a few options, I just need to make a decision now. 

To all of you who have been there for me these last few weeks, I thank you completely from the bottom of my heart. I feel so loved, and I am so grateful for every blessing that I have.